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How to: date a geek

July 7, 2011

I have a confession: I love geeks.

You might call them nerds or dorks. If they like math and science, comics and sci-fi, computers and technology, dungeons and dragons, or hacking of any kind, they qualify.

There’re plenty of reasons why a girl might prefer geeks, but they can be a more difficult breed than other men. In addition to having dated quite a few, I’ve also been fortunate enough to talk about relationships with geeky male friends. I’ve concluded that if you want to attract and keep a geek of your own, you should:

1. Be smart: You have to be able to hold up your end in a conversation, so you should have a good level of general intelligence. If you really want to keep his attention, you should be able to teach him something, and bonus points if it’s a bit obscure.

Not feeling too brainy? You might get away with letting him teach you something, but he’s not likely to stick around for long if you can’t make and respond to arguments based on logic in casual conversation.

2. Be clear: Not that it’s ever a good idea to expect someone you’re dating to be a mindreader, but with thinkers you really have to be clear about what you mean and what you want. Conveniently, geeks won’t make you feel stupid or awkward when you ask questions to get them to clarify what they mean or want, so try to return the favor while they’re figuring out what you’re saying.

3. Get tech savvy: You don’t need to build your own motherboards or anything, but you should know what one is. If you’re starting from scratch, it’s easy to build your geek vocabulary: Just dive in to the science section of your favorite news source, or a tech news site, or subscribe to a geek blog.

4. Be an early adopter: Geeks like gadgets, so if you can get excited about the latest gaming system, social media platform or this show, you’re in good shape.

5.  Get over yourself: No matter the geek’s specialty, I’ve found they all love to throw themselves in to whatever they’re doing with un-self-concscious abandon. This means you need to be more concerned about trying things and having a sense of humour about yourself than sitting at the metaphorical cool table.

Good luck, and happy geek hunting!

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