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Why Lily should never have a boyfriend

July 2, 2011

I’ve realized that I am a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad girlfriend.

Take this hustler I’ve been seeing recently. Tall, dark and well-endowed, he’s also concerned about my general well-being and whether or not I’m entertained.

These are all good things. But.

He always wants to hang out. He wants my professional input about his business. He wants to take me to his favorite US city to see his favorite soul singer. He wants me to meet his children. He wants to call me up with 10 minutes notice and for me to be ready to go do whatever it is he wants to do on a Sunday morning.

I do not want these things. I want to hang out with my friends and meet new people. I want to not think about work when I’m off work. If I am going back to the states, you can bet I want to go to a city where I actually know people. His kids are fine, I guess, but the last thing I want to do on a Sunday morning is jump out of bed and get ready to leave the house in 10 minutes time!

The problem with having a boyfriend is that it seems to require me to do things other than what I want to do. Maybe that makes me selfish or self-centered. Whatever. Probably the problem is exaggerated by more-traditional-than-I’m-used-to gender roles in the Caribbean. There’s not a thing I can do about that. So.

Sorry guys. Just consider me nice company for a few outings and then move on to a woman who will do all the things you want without regard to her own desires. Meanwhile, I’ll be on the lookout for the guy who wants to know what I enjoy, and wants me to be who I already am. Just in case he exists.

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